Clearing the Tardis

I rang my friend, the eBay Queen today and asked for help with setting up my sales posts. It's all very complicated.

She used to use a posting site called Auctiva which earned their money through advertising, allowed you to set up posts with unlimited photos, and schedule the start date of the auction for free. But now they charge for the privilege - only $3 a month for a maximum of 15 items, or something like $9 a month for unlimited items. Well, no big cheese, I guess.

Alternatively I could pay 6p to schedule a post directly on eBay, choose from a variety of prices for a single post (depending on whether I choose 'Buy It Now', 'Best Offer' or stick it in the 99p price range), then I would have to pay commission to eBay and a percentage to PayPal if used. Is it really worth the effort?

She asked me how much I had to sell. I said "about seven for eBay".

"Seven items? Oh, that's easy".

"No", I replied, "Seven boxes".

There was a moments silence followed by a deep sigh "I told you that you should have started this months ago".

And she did. But way back when she told me, I didn't really have that much to sell. I thought that, somehow, most of my crap would squeeze in to a single room in a shared house. Now, looking at the number of boxes (and counting) I wonder how on earth I made that estimation. In fact, I am wondering where on earth it lived before I started filling up the boxes. The house is such a Tardis that it wouldn't surprise me to find David Tennant hiding in the cupboard under the stairs (oh shit - I haven't even tackled under the stairs yet - but if he's hiding there he can help me lift some boxes. Or transport me back through time so that I can undo all of my purchases).

It's a daunting task, and I have a plan. Well, kind of a plan. You see, I've left it so late and want to get rid of so many items that the temptation to hire a skip (sorry, dumpster) is almost overwhelming. So, I'm going to have one car boot sale, post selected items on eBay, and post other items on the 'Trading Post' database at the eBay Queen's place of work.

If there is anything of value left over, I will try to post again. The rest will be split between the Charity Shop, the Tip (Dump?) and some unlucky friends and close relatives who will be receiving seconds for Christmas. High quality seconds, I might add.

Sonic Screwdriver, anyone?

Fear IS Illusion - Told You So

The only reason I repeat that fear is an illusion is to remind myself.

I have been an anxious person for as long as I can remember. It is in my nature to chew over every future possibility of any action and get stuck on being so totally prepared for all the logical outcomes that I end up doing nothing except wringing my hands or pacing the room. Or blogging as an excuse for being 'busy', of course.

I'm sure that logically if I really started taking action on selling everything in my house that I needed to clear, that six weeks would be more than enough time. But instead I feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of different items that I need to shift, worried that I won't find the best opportunity to get the most money for them and too hung up on the Big What Ifs: What if it comes to moving day and I still have too much stuff? What if I give my month's notice and I cannot find the 'right' place to stay?

Too many questions: Will I have enough space to take my TV? If so, do I keep the cabinet? If I don't keep the cabinet then when do I sell the cabinet? When do I stop cooking meals in bulk so that I can defrost the fridge-freezer in the back room? How long will that take to sell? When do I sell my saucepans?

Of course, added to this is the total and utter inconvenience of the process of moving - packing everything in to boxes, eating out of packets, arranging the forwarding of mail, booking the van. Oh, and finding a place to live too. Minor detail.

You can see how much I get stuck in the present or the past, rather than remembering the benefits that will come from all of this effort in the future...

Underlying this hand-wringing exercise is the deafening silence from the MD, who had yet to respond to my email. Logically I feel quite calm about the whole situation. Physically I am a mess, jumping involuntarily every time a new email notification comes through or every time the phone rings. I have been feeling for the past couple of days as though I am about to walk in to an important interview and I am sure that is not healthy. Of course it's not healthy. Or necessary.

Here's the thing - I stated at the start of the post that it was in my nature to be anxious. What I turn in to a Nervous Nelly over, others would find a breeze and handle the situation without batting an eyelid. Others would look at my current situation with excitement - I have a friend who loves to move house, is not at all bothered by the chaos and who would sell her house contents and more without any sign of smoke emerging from her ears.

Put her in the driver's seat, though, as she suffers from terrible road rage. She gets angry at things which do not bother me at all. We are all here to change our nature - whatever that might be. Everybody has a reaction (or more than one) that is tough to overcome. And mine is anxiety. Somehow in this lifetime I need to transform from Worrier to Warrior. And I will get there - Awareness is key.

So how did the Universe deliver that awareness today?

At 1pm, another email appeared from the Postmaster - 48 hours after I emailed the MD - to say that my message had not, and could not, be delivered.

After all of that self-induced stress, I'd entered his email address incorrectly.

So for the past 48 hours I have been feeling the tension grow, worrying about what he will say about the contract, and in reality there was absolutely no possibility that he could have even read it. What wasted time and energy!

So, time to at least start listing out my stuff. I started on the vinyl, which may be useful to a D.J. friend, and came across a white E.P by a band called "Susan And God". And I have no idea how it got there. Life is full of little surprises....