Or perhaps the Universe is just providing me with too many distractions, given that I am procrastinating over two seemingly vital tasks at the moment.
The first is preparing for an interview due at some point this week. I have spent the last six months 'trying' to set up my own business purely to avoid having to justify myself in an interview. I cannot bear the rotten things. "Tell me a time when you solved a difficult problem that required the input of others. How did you go about this and how did you measure the results?" Oh, I don't know, it was all so long ago now.
So I'm reading the questions and thinking 'oh yes, I could probably answer that one' but when I try to practice an answer out loud, some little gremlin comes in and wipes my memory. The mouth moves but not a lot comes out save for 'Uhhm' Not very impressive.
Secondly, the interview involves a test on SQL code. Even in my last role performing relational database queries, I was not using SQL. Luckily I have an online manual to hand. If only any of the syntax would stick. Just when I think I can write a particular function, I look back on something simple like selecting from a table and find that I can recall diddley-squat.
I find myself flipping between tasks and getting nowhere.
Then, of course, as I have been working hard over the past few months on Letting Go of the past, I also appear to have let go of quite a few pounds. So much so, that the trousers for my suit no longer fit. I have to buy a new suit, which means leaving the interview prep for a few hours. Valuable time that although I am clearly not using, I cannot afford to waste.
As if I am not throwing enough rocks in my path, my neighbourhood has decided to add to the distraction.
Last Sunday when I hired a van and moved my stuff in, the street was deserted and quiet. Whereas yesterday was mayhem. What sounded like gangs of kids patrolled the streets, chanting in unison, playing team games which were verging on riots. Somewhere down the road a party was going on. Or maybe someone just fancied blaring out their music loud enough to be heard at the stadium on the other side of White Hart Lane station.
Either it simply wasn't my kind of music, or I am getting old. Oh this modern music - it's just noise to me. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM WAIL WAIL BOOM. Repeated over and over and over.
In addition to this, given the number of air horns honking for long periods late afternoon, I think there was a football match this weekend. Add that to the regular bursts of police sirens, and it's quite the place to be.
Whatever my excuse, I didn't get an awful lot done.
And so the plan for this morning was to catch up. To focus. To feel more confident at the end of the day. To have my suit in the wardrobe ready to transform me in to a modern professional at a moment's notice.
And again, my focus has wained, and I have found myself flitting between tasks out of fear, when really, it's all so simple: I'm fabulous, give me a job.
The street has been relatively quiet compared to yesterday, with the exception of what sounded like a crazed drug addict screaming his head off and smashing lots of glass outside at around 11am.
So I have no excuse for my lack of progress, but still think that I will feel better once I have bought my new suit. So I start to get ready and glance outside on to the street 4 floors below... and find that leaving the front door is going to be slightly tricky, mainly for the reason that the front door is in the middle of a crime scene, cordoned off with 'POLICE CRIME SCENE DO NOT ENTER' tape.
Oo-kay. So, where was I? Oh yes...
"Tell me about yourself"
"My name is Kabbalah Rookie and I have over six years experience in an IT Service Support environment....."