A party is being held for them at their Grandma's house way out in the country, with 20 local children in attendance. And I have been invited to stay.
Last year I attended but didn't dress up (although if I remember rightly, I wasn't well and looked like death-warmed-up as default) but this year I decided to get in to the spirit of things.
It didn't take long to find a few accessories to enhance my appearance - I bought a cape, a witches nose, some green and mouldy teeth, a giant spider and a witches hat - all for £6.20 from Wilkinson's. Bargain.
When I arrived home I dashed upstairs to try on the nose and the teeth. The nose is attached by very tight elastic (probably designed for a child) which bent the nose out of shape and left monstrous marks on my face in minutes. Hmm. I guess it was only 50p. So I picked my brains and decided (perhaps not too cleverly) to remove the elastic and stick it to my face using lingerie tape (or 'tit tape', to put it not so delicately). I am wondering how long it will take for the skin to grow back on the top of my nose and hope to be remotely photogenic by Christmas.
The teeth are a disaster. Make no bones about it, I cannot get them in my mouth. I have come to the conclusion that they are designed for someone with a flat face and gums made of steel. I spent a good ten minutes trying to force them on to my teeth - gagging and drooling profusely in the process - but could not get them to stay. At least they only cost 75p.
I unwrapped the cape and rather than it being polyester fabric, it is polyester plastic, and neatly creased in to squares. In hindsight I could have bought a job lot of bin liners from Wilko's for the same price (£1) and fashioned my own. But it will do. Maybe if I run it under hot water and stretch it at the same time, the creases will come out. Or maybe it will melt.
But the hat - red velvet covered in black lace - is a winner. I'll be the best witch in town.