A day of Learning

Or should that be a lifetime.

• You know that you need to pay more attention to the job-hunting process when you save a modified version of your CV after 45 minutes of editing, only to find that you applied for exactly the same job 6 days earlier.

• You know that when trying to arrange payment for some work which the client was hoping to get for free, hearing "I'll speak to the customer and see what they say" isn't a good thing.

• You realise that you ought to get a bit more familiar with the latest web application versions, when you don't realise immediately that WWE is not a web application, but instead stands for World Wrestling Entertainment.

• You know that when you hear your Kabbalah teacher of 8 months say that he no longer knows how to help you, you're either very close to a breakthrough or totally screwed.

• You know that on the last 30 seconds of "60 Minute Makeover" the screen will be filled with five people in every room plumping dozens of cushions and nudging colour coordinated vases two millimetres to the left, alongside one person still putting up wallpaper.

• You know that half an hour after the film crew have left, taking all of the throw cushions and vases, the beneficiaries of "60 Minute Makeover" are going to have to work out where to put the seven boxes of kids toys, their entire collection of books and half of their clothes, now that two of the wardrobes have gone and storage space has been ripped out and replaced with something more 'aesthetically pleasing'.

• You know that you really need to take more care of your bikini line when you say to the nurse during a smear test "Apologies for the state of my bikini line" and she doesn't reply "Believe me, I have seen much worse."

• You know that you miss your sister when the nurse tells you to relax completely and think of somewhere sunny, and you immediately think of being on holiday with your sister on the same beach in Barbados, drinking nice little cocktails with umbrellas.

• You know that it's not such a good thing when one experienced nurse cannot find your cervix and calls in a second nurse for assistance.

• You know that it's even worse when the second nurse cannot find your cervix either and says "That's the best I can do" after ten minutes of twisting and rotating a speculum firmly against the walls of your bladder.

• You know that it's a good thing when you don't wee even just a little bit throughout all of this poking and prodding.

• You realise you will soon be turning 40 when you tell someone your date of birth and they say "Oh! Only 8 more Big Sleeps!"