Tuesday, 17 February 2009

All over the place..

I love blogging. I love getting my thoughts out there, to anyone who wants to listen. I love turning events over in my head when I am away from my computer until I land on something funny with both feet and know that it will make somebody, somewhere, smile.

I also get enormous pleasure from reading other blogs and have found myself getting sucked down a rabbit hole on more than one occasion, which leaves me less time to write my own half-witted ramblings. Lucky for some.

At first I didn't want to read other blogs. I thought that I would feel jealous and insignificant by comparison, but I don't. I've discovered that I love reading what other people have to say. Maybe a few months ago I would have felt intimidated, but maybe now I can look at the skills of other writers (a term which I very loosely associate with myself) and not see their greatness as a sign of my insignificance.

If you read no further on this post, where I intend to splurge a collection of random observations, I don't mind, but please read SinnerViewer: Live Your Truth and tell me that you aren't touched in some way.

So what to say today? Nothing and everything, as usual. I am currently waiting for the girl from my Letting Agency to come round and perform a property inspection - something that I have to endure every 3 months and which I used to feel frustrated with. Now I look at it as a godsend - at least the house will be hoovered, dusted, tidied and the loo cleaned four times a year.

On the subject of the man defined by kettle, I had a call from New Potential Love Interest this morning to arrange a date for Thursday. And he sounds quite nice and I feel more relaxed about meeting him. So we arranged to meet at a location in London, where he then said "Oh, and I'm 5'10" and will be wearing a pink carnation" which I thought was a bit strange because we've already met, and if I need a reminder of what he looks like, I could take a(nother) peek at his website. He registered the pause and then said "Oh, don't worry. I'm a bit mad". So what was I saying about 'slightly unhinged'? Perfect. I'll save telling him that I have a tattoo of a gecko on my shoulder, called Bernard (no, really) until I can see the expression on his face. Game On.

And lastly, I have been wanting to write something about Jade Goody for the past couple of days. Jade Goody has been vilified, criticised and abused by the media from the moment she appeared in Big Brother - but now that she has been diagnosed with terminal cervical cancer, the critics have fallen silent. And I am glad and mad all at the same time. Glad because she deserves to be left alone, but mad at the media for being so incredibly two-faced and for the abuse that they have already thrown her way (even if it has earned her a lot of money, much of it was pretty nasty).

Jade Goody is the reason why I stopped finding Graham Norton to be funny. Whilst she was inside the Big Brother house, he jumped on the media's badmouthing campaign, likening her to an ignorant pig. (Okay, so he may not have started it, but he was well and truly on the bandwagon). The jokes were fine (along with the teasing of Helen: "I like blinking, me" and "So do chickpeas have chicken in them?" but the pig mask wasn't so funny. And then when she was evicted after coming fourth, he invited her on the show, and said 'Oh I love you reeaally, Jade' and tried to turn it all in to an innocent poking of fun. Oh Graham Norton, if only there were more about you that I could like.

Luckily for him, Jade seemed to be able to handle anything that was thrown at her. I can't say that I ever wanted Jade to become my bosom buddy, but I have always admired her confidence and the things that she has achieved. Where I fear to open my mouth, Jade jumps in with both feet. Where I hold myself back with lack of confidence, Jade pushes ahead. Where I might not feel deserving or worthy, Jade says 'this is me, like it or lump it'.

And having been down the whole "abnormal smear" route, I feel sick at the thought of what she is going through. I am one of the lucky ones. I cried whilst getting to grips with terms such as 'severe diskaryosis', 'colposcopy' and 'loop diathermy'. I escaped with having my cervix removed under local anaesthetic (a bit of a shocker in itself - they don't leave anything to chance) and a clean biopsy and follow up. I remember the utter relief I felt when the follow up results came through - which makes me wonder why I am not living each day as though it were my last. Because one day, it will be.

God bless, Jade. There but for the grace of God.


  1. I don't watch Big Brother, but I can empathize with Jade. I lost my uterus (and ability to have more kids) at age 26. I've known all along it could have been a lot worse, but this reinforces it.

  2. I can't believe you wrote about Jade!!!!!! I have been meaning to all week. She has been on my mind. I have escaped the whole Jade Goody media attention and have only ever seen her in OK magazine. But I can't believe she only has months to live. So, so sad. Whatever else you might say of Jade, she seemed to me like a woman who isn't frightened to live life - loudly and at full throttle. It also makes me think about all the other young women who are in identical situations right now. Who are savouring the last moments with their kids and are making plans for a future that they won't be part of. It just doesn't bear thinking about. Makes me sad and incredibly grateful.

  3. Jeanne - that makes me feel incredibly lucky to only have lost my cervix. 26 is such a young age to face something like that.

    Nic - I hear you. Jades story is a real reality check. She is 27 years old. There must be so many other women going through the same thing only we don't know about them so we don't think about them - or their children. Very, very sad.


  4. Thanks so much for the link-love, KR. I am so deeply touched by the overwhelming response to my post. What a nice surprise - another unexpected gift from God. The blessings just don't stop...

  5. Shannon - I read your post and I couldn't NOT link to it. You have done what some people never have the courage to do in their lives - be your authentic self. May the blessings never stop! x

  6. Hi love,
    Its odd, but I've been thinking a lot about Jade this week too.
    It must be so hard to be told you're not going to live to see your children grow up. My mother-in-law is dealing with the same thing as Jade and has been given 2 months. Saying good bye to someone who is still alive is possibly one of the most difficult things that I've had to do.
    I loved your post, keep writing.
    xxx jojo