Wednesday, 21 April 2010

The Fine Art of Procrastination

I am pulling my CV together. Honest. I am closer than I have ever been. In fact, I have created one CV and am now in the process of creating a second one for the type of role that I actually want.

I am way too modest for CV creation to come naturally to me. No, seriously, I am the most modest person going. Out of all of the modest people out there, I am the best. (Hmmm... wonder if I could make that in to a bullet point in my Personal Profile?)

The pain of creating this amazing CV (which will only have to be chopped and changed and buggered about with anyway, so I am not sure exactly why I am giving myself such a hernia over this) has grown so huge that it is remarkable how many other "important" things I am finding to do with my time.

Even on the best day, I am a mental butterfly, lightly landing on a task for, oh, about five minutes before being distracted by the next brightly coloured or shiny thing. My boredom threshold even for the things I love to do is very low. I feel pity for my past boyfriends, who had to deal with 'oh, you're still horny? I am ready for a nice cup of tea' only five minutes after removing our clothes. Or maybe I exaggerate. Perhaps it was ten minutes.

With the absence of a boyfriend, sex is off the list as a distraction, and I find myself taking the art of procrastination to its most mundane level.
  • Get up, make cup of coffee.
  • Make another cup of coffee.
  • Morning meditation.
  • Third cup of coffee.
  • Get dressed.
  • Read email - pick out the emails to respond to later, after creating CV.
  • Open CV document.
  • Decide to respond to emails now, rather than later. I mean, who knows how long this is going to take?
  • Remember to put washing on. Return to laptop.
  • Remember to take chicken out of the freezer. Return to laptop.
  • Check email again. Oh look, I can respond to this one really quickly. Oh, and this one has a really interesting article.
  • Look at CV. Hear stomach rumble. Eat banana and make a cup of tea.
  • Decide to quickly check blogs whilst finishing cup of tea.
  • Empty washing machine and take time to remove as many creases as possible when placing clothes on dryer.
  • Remember that I want to order some books on Amazon, have a very quick search.
  • Follow links from recommended titles and end up taking 2 full lessons on how to speak Hebrew. Feel proud that I stopped at 2 lessons, when 4 were free.
  • Return to CV, write a couple of lines. Get stuck.
  • Check email, just in case. Find another couple of interesting articles.
  • Decide to have a break from the computer, back is getting stiff and hand turning in to claw.
  • Make another cup of tea. Have brainwave on how to deal with CV format. Promise to instantly return after cup of tea and put changes in place after lunch.
  • And after checking email..
  • And after checking for updated blogs...

This too, will pass. Just one more check of email...


  1. Oh this is so funny!! I am currently putting off a) making some lunch and b) going to the gym. Aaarghhh! Just another nibble of chocolate to answer the tummy rumbles....just another blog post to read before I cloak myself in lycra....ooh, must put the washing away before I do ANYTHING else....the chances of me actually eating lunch are fairly high. The chance of me getting my wobbly arse to the gym...much slimmer (particularly compared to my thighs *sigh)

  2. Nicola: Amazing how the time passes... I didn't even mention the number of times I went 'for a quick wee' to counteract the numerous cups of tea and coffee...

  3. That crack about the boyfriends and the sex bit had me doubled over really should consider a career in comedy, and if the CV is any reflection of you, I'm sure it will be brilliant...We won't even discuss procrastination, it is something in which I don't indulge...

  4. e: apologies for the delay in response, I was cleaning the soap dish... I shall start searching the jobs list immediately for Comedic roles. At least if the agencies laugh at my CV, I can take it as a compliment. Glad it gave you a good laugh - you're laughing harder than my ex's did, that's for sure...

  5. "A mental butterfly" You? Don't be silly.