An emotional car wreck

Oh My Goodness, I sobbed last night. And that just isn't like me. Real tears (like, real tears) rolled down my cheeks, uncontrollably. I had to ring GBM to listen to a friendly voice who could calm me down. I felt shaken for quite a while.

And the reason for this? Did my pet spider (Jim, in the bathroom) curl up his toes and die? No. Did I receive a really bad phonecall with horrific news that someone I dearly loved had been in an accident? No. Did I receive an abusive email telling me what a horrible person I was, and how much I had let someone down? (Who, me?) No.

Danielle died on Eastenders. (Sorry GBM if I have ruined that one for you after my emotional build up last night, but you had your chance to watch it)

The long-running storyline was that Danielle's Mum, Ronnie (Samantha Janus), had given birth at the age of 14 and had been persuaded by her father (the evil Archie, played so brilliantly by Larry Lamb) to give the child up for adoption. When Archie came in to the storyline (months ago) he then tells Ronnie that he received a letter saying that her daughter had died when she was two years old, and he never had the heart to tell her. But of course, he was now telling her for her own good so that she could heal and move on. Nasty Man.

But of course Danielle appears on the scene looking for her Mum, with a locket containing a picture of Ronnie's 14 year old self that was given to her when she was adopted. After a long-drawn-out storyline, Danielle reveals herself to Archie, who says that Ronnie is a woman on the edge, and that he will deal with it. Which of course, he doesn't, hoping that Danielle will vanish and not reveal what a lying, manipulative bastard he really is. (Can you tell how much I get sucked in to soaps?!).

And last night Danielle reveals herself to Ronnie (after believing that Ronnie had already been told by Archie and didn't want to know her). And of course, Ronnie is encouraged by Archie to think that Danielle is two crackers short of a midday snack, and Danielle leaves The Vic (they live in a pub called The Queen Victoria - oh, keep up, will you?) in a state of hysteria and shock.

And then Ronnie finds the locket, realises that Danielle is telling the truth and sets out to find her daughter. Queue prickling sensation behind the eyes on my part. Will she catch up with Danielle before she leaves 'The Square'?

Yes, she does. She calls out to Danielle and they turn and face each other. Oh it was charged with emotion, I can tell you. Tears started to roll slowly down my cheeks. Then Ronnie sobs "My Baby!" (I know, not so dramatic on paper) and that was it, floodgates open.
Oh! The long-awaited Happy Ending!! *sob*

But before they can be all lovey-dovey and together as a family (or as they say in the East End, a Faahm-lee), Janine (Jah-neeeeen!) careers around the corner in her sports car and knocks Danielle six feet in to the air.

No!no!nonononono! Surely not! Surely the ambulance will arrive! It has to! Where is the ambulance? Why is nobody calling 999? Please! Somebody take action! Jah-neeeeeen! Stop just standing there in shock and get your phone out!

I felt as though I was being dragged over emotional hot coals, watching Samantha Janus howl in agony as her long lost daughter died in her arms. I never cry this much over films, but then again, I have been watching Eastenders for a long while now (although I will tell other people that I 'have it on whilst I am doing other things' to cover my shame) and although there is a part of my brain that is saying "This isn't real, you know." I do tend to get attached to some of the characters. Some of the storylines are a bit pants, but every now and again they come up with an absolute corker and the acting is superb.

I cried similarly when Little Mo finally stood up to her wife-beating husband, Trevor, before lighting the fire that burned him to death in their house. I wish I could find that clip on YouTube so that I could cry with solidarity all over again.

There is a big part of me hoping and praying that Ronnie was mistaken.. that somehow the paramedics will manage to revive poor Danielle by tonight and make it all better. It could happen, couldn't it? I mean, Ronnie could be wrong, couldn't she? Maybe she's just unconscious! She didn't check properly for breathing or a pulse...

Fat chance.

I don't think I can take any more Eastenders. I can't handle the emotional turmoil, the suspense, the heartache.

Perhaps I should stick to programs that are easier to handle..... like the Pride of Britain awards....