I went for a CT scan of my sinuses today. I received the letter a couple of weeks ago and pinned it to the notice board, and then read it again this morning. And when I re-read it I noticed all kinds of phrases that I hadn't noticed before, like the mention of an injection of fluid, the need to stay behind for ten minutes afterwards to monitor for any reaction (maybe I should have somebody with me, just in case), and the worst thing of all - the prospect of wearing a hospital gown.

Shit. I knew there was a reason why I should have waxed my legs. Never mind - instead of taking in my manky dressing gown to cover up, I decided to take in a pair of leggings to wear underneath. Sorted.

I took the train to Harlow, arrived on time for my appointment and was called in almost immediately. The nurse checked my date of birth, the date of my last period, which I couldn't remember (why do they always need to know this? I don't understand! They are taking pictures of my frickin' sinuses. Why not just ask if I could be pregnant, if that's what they want to know?)

She called me over to the machine and asked me to lie down. There was not a gown in sight. In fact, I didn't even have to take my shoes off. I was asked to lie still, and the table slid me in to the machine as far as my neck, then back out again. Then there was a sound like a microwave on Full Power, I slid back in, back out, and then it stopped (without going ding!).

Okay, so that's the dry run over... here we go with the real thing...stay perfectly still...

The nurse reappeared again. "All done, you can go", she said.

All done?! All done?! I've just paid £5.30 to get here! The least you could have done was added a bit of drama or dragged it out a bit to make it worth my while!

Mustn't grumble. No doubt I will get more than my money's worth when I go in to have my deviant septum corrected and my sinuses drilled out.

And I will definitely be waxing my legs for that one...