It rained today

Goodness, is that the sum total of my day? It rained?!

What else went on... hmm now let me think...

Not an awful lot, really. I went to sign on today - always depressing, especially in the rain. A four hour round trip, ten minutes of which are spent sitting with the rest of the great unwashed of East Herts and the rest of which is spent sitting on a draughty bus or milling round bookshops or standing with my eyes glazed over at the different varieties of shampoo in Boots. Note to self: must sort my life out.

Anything else? Oh yes, I squashed a gnat.
The night before last I was sitting on the couch and felt something tickling my leg. Assuming it was a random leg hair or piece of fluff, I ignored it. Much to my peril. Later I discovered 3 nasty bites on my knee, shin and ankle. The kind of bites that drive you to distraction with their itchiness. The kind of bites that strengthen the feeling of hatred towards all potential biting insects.

Then last night, I felt the same thing - something crawling inside my jeans, same leg. Suspecting that my jeans were hosting fleas, I frantically pulled up my trouser leg, found nothing (but managed to trigger the whole itching process once more) and then five minutes later I spotted a tiny gnat-type-thing crawling on the other leg. I tried to slap it but with the absence of a carcase the outcome was one stinging thigh, one itchy shin and gnat paranoia for the next two hours.

So today there I was innocently standing in my kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil and along flies the same gnat (no, I swear it had the same look on its little gnatty face) headed straight for my leg. And with my thoughts aligned less with Buddhism and more with defending my mortal being, I instinctively lent down and slapped. And I got it first time. I watched it spiral slowly to the kitchen floor.

And then the guilt started. I shouldn't have killed it really. Any life is a life, and all that. I watched for signs of movement. Maybe it was only stunned. Perhaps it was still in pain. Maybe (given that I didn't fancy my chances giving it the kiss of life) I ought to step on it to make sure that it was out of its misery. No, it was definitely dead.

And then I consoled myself with the fact that what is, is. If every creature is here for a purpose, then maybe (just maybe) that gnat was once a selfish person or a nasty dog, banished to gnat-dom for a lifetime to learn a lesson. Perhaps I have just freed its soul so that it may be reincarnated as something else. A wasp, most likely, which knowing my luck will build its nest in the loft above my bedroom. *sigh*

How bored does one have to be before blogging about the reincarnation of gnats?

I'll tell you all about my pet ant (Anthony) another time.

Now, where did I put the Calomine lotion?