Years ago I went for a Tarot reading, and regarding meeting my 'soul-mate' was given the message "...and when you first meet that man... don't think 'I can't be with him'" What kind of crack-pot statement is that? That could mean anything, couldn't it? I have carried those words with me for years. And it has meant something different with each man I have met.
I have dated men who seemed to be above my level with well paying jobs and houses and very flash cars ("I don't see what he would see in me. Ooo, hang on, don't think 'I can't be with him...'. Let's see how the next date goes"), to complete nutcases with irrational behaviour ("This guy is really scary and I am not sure what he is going to do next. Is he an idiot or a genius with strange eccentricities? Ooo, don't think 'I can't be with him...'. I'll give him a chance"). The question applies to every man I have met - potential date or not ("Could I be with someone like him??") and even to the partners of friends ("Would I consider being with someone like him??")
It's enough to drive a girl crazy. Give a Gemini an Impossi-puzzle, why don't you?! How cruel. Almost as cruel as sticking a fruit gum to a dog's tooth (keeps the dog busy for hours, but it's very mean).
And now a new man has entered the scene, but rather than tie myself up in knots over 'would I, wouldn't I?' before I have even discovered whether he is available, I have come to trust that what will be, will be. This man has the ability to read minds. A few weeks ago he asked how I was, and when I replied "Good, thanks" he looked at me with an expression that said "Pull the other one. Now tell me what you are really thinking". He is softly spoken and caring, and self assured and oh, just about everything I am looking for in a man. But, given that I knew nothing about him or whether he was attached or single, I was willing to just let things take their natural path. I didn't want to get hung up on someone who was not available, and I couldn't imagine him being single. All the same, I had an image - or expectation - in my mind that he would invite me out for a coffee. I could see it clearly. And it was a nice thought.
I bumped in to him again recently. Once again he saw straight through my "I'm fine" (I bore enough people already - I was being polite) and we got talking about my current situation and challenges. And then he said: "I think you and I should go for a coffee and talk more."
"I KNEW IT!!!" yelled my inner coach "KEEP CALM!! KEEP CALM!!!! YOU'RE DOING GREAT.... NICE AND EASY DOES IT"
"Yes, we must" I replied ("GOOD... GOOD... PLAY IT COOL.... DON'T WORRY ABOUT ALL OF THIS 'I CAN'T BE WITH HIM' CRAP - WE'LL DEAL WITH THAT LATER".)
"Yes" he continued "Only I can't make it for the next couple of weeks. I'm going to my girlfriend's home. In Norway"
Double. Sucker. Punch.
"Ooookay, nasty blow... don't panic!!" my inner coach yelled "keep the smile, don't lose eye contact, don't let your voice break. Nothing to see here. She's probably not tall and blond anyway. Or maybe she is. But that doesn't mean that she's a nice person... You couldn't have been with him anyway..."
"Oh really" I said, desperately trying to conceal the disappointment in my eyes but realising that somehow I must have failed. This is a man who can see straight through me. Usually I am so adept at masking my feelings and nobody knows how I feel - but not with this guy. "So how long are you going away for?". Nice recovery.
So my Ego recovered, the conversation continued and turned on to what I aim to achieve with my business future. I'm aiming for abundance (and why not?) but with the target of being affluent enough to be able to help the people I want to reach at no cost to them. The more people I can reach, the better.
"What type of business are you setting up?" he asked.
"Personal Development" I replied.
"Really?" he said, and smiled a curious smile. "Oh now we really do need to talk...."
The plot thickens. One question answered, another one asked...