I'm going to be shouted at tomorrow. I just know it. I am about to quote a daily rate for my work which will cause shock and anger. Not because I am not worth that rate of pay, but because the person concerned is so tight that he could peel an orange in his pocket. He is expecting me to quote much less, and when I don't, he is expecting to be able to convince me otherwise, which he won't.
And on the one hand, any amount of income is good. But on the other, time spent on this task (which is a one-off job and not truly related to my purpose in life) would be time that could be spent on building up what I really want to do.
Logic is telling me 'drop your price and take whatever he offers!' Fear is telling me that I won't make it to the end of the year without falling in to serious debt. But the Light knows where I am meant to be. The Light does not work on any other logic other than its own laws. If I am meant to do this work, my price will be honoured. And if not then something better is coming my way.
But crap, I'm still scared. And excited.
Overheard on a bus to Harlow a week ago:
"It's not the big bus like last week, is it."
"No, it's not the same bus at all. Not as nice, this one."
"I like the other bus"
"Yes, I don't like this bus at all"
"The other bus is bigger isn't it. And nicer.
"Yes, it is"
I smiled to myself at the simple level of conversation - how dull their lives must be to be commenting on a bus. What scintillating discussions they must have. Oh to be a fly on their wall. When I caught the bus home, it was the bigger bus they had been talking about - all new and shiny, with clean seats and plenty of leg room. It was indeed a very nice bus.
This week I did the same journey again. And the first thought that came in to my head when the bus came round the corner was:
"Oh, it's not the big bus like last week, is it. I like the other bus....it's bigger. And nicer."
Best begging comeback from a vagrant at Liverpool Street station after I gave him a generous amount of change: "You couldn't change this for a fiver, could you?"
There but for the grace of God.