I am used to hearing this type of response from my teacher. I go through periods of making tons of effort and taking big steps only for it to be dismissed. And I used to be really offended by it and spend effort and energy during our meeting trying to get him to value what I thought I had achieved. And the more frustrated I got, the less he listened. But always there would be something he said which I needed to hear and now despite still desperately wanting to be 'right' (oh my lovely Leo Moon) I fight the temptation to talk and listen to what he has to say.
My teacher has an unnerving ability to detect my true level of change. I feel as though I am speaking with conviction, but there must be something in my voice which easily relays (to him) that I am trying to convince him as much as I am trying to convince myself. All the same, the advice that my teacher gives and the way in which he gives it is total gold dust. Or diamond dust. Or platinum dust. Or Light dust, shipped direct from the Creator.
He said "You may have taken all of this action over the past few days but nothing has changed. The only change can come from within. When you truly believe what you are worth, you will not even have to ask or justify, because people will just know. Your energy will simply deliver these things to you and they won't question it".
Now, I like the sound of that.
He continued "Every person on the planet is a spark of Light from the Creator. And logically, you know that - you can understand in theory how that could be true. But you don't get it. You don't feel it inside. You don't believe that this is true. Once you start to feel this and know it, you can start really moving forwards with your life and your purpose".
The parable he told was one of a Princess who was raised amongst the peasants and grew to believe that she was a peasant. It is only when she is older that the King finds his daughter and asks her to live at the palace. Logically, she knows that she is the Princess, but she does not feel like a Princess - she doesn't yet believe it. It is only when she truly believes and starts living with the consciousness of a Princess that the people take her seriously. Until then she is nothing but a jumped-up peasant trying to give orders.
Well, that's easy to understand.
Oh, and before anyone starts wondering why any Kabbalah teacher would be encouraging his students to behave like a Princess - the type of Princess that he has in mind is one who exists to serve her people and share, not sit on her throne barking orders and shouting 'Off with their heads!' And of course real Princesses also deserve a real Prince. (Aaahaa...NOW you're talking.....)
My teacher then suggested I keep a Princess diary. Or maybe that should be a Peasant's diary. If I know what it takes to be a Princess, then I need to make note of all of the things I do in a day which come from the peasant consciousness: what am I avoiding? when am I being lazy? what fear am I not confronting? When I got distracted by email for the umpteenth time or decided that now would be a really good time to clean the loo, what responsibility was I hiding from? (because we all know that Princesses do not clean toilets. Which would make me quite a good Princess, now I come to think about it...)
"So," my teacher continued "just find a book and write all of these things down as you go through the day"
Oh my. I'm not sure they make books that big.