New Toys

Let's get something straight - when my friend moved office last week, I was more than rewarded for my efforts. She was determined to only pack what she really needed and let a lot of possessions go, and I was there like a vulture, picking things up and saying "Are you seriously not taking this?!" At which point she would say "I don't need it. But you can have it if you want".

Whilst we were waiting for the van, I spotted a toy that I'd had my eye on for years. 32 years to be precise. When I was seven, we lived in America for six months, and the boy next door had one. I don't even know what it is called - some kind of gyro toy - but I am sure that he used to hide it from me because once I got hold of the damned thing and started whirring the wheel up and down, back and forth, playtime was strictly over.

So I sat in my friends office and started to whirl the little wheel up and down, back and forth, whilst dropping some very subtle hints like "Oh I have wanted one of these since I was a small child. I love these things. I could play with this all day" until she said "Well, please take it" (to which I replied rather unconvincingly "Oh no I couldn't possibly...I'll never do anything else with my life" whilst keeping a very firm grip on the handle). Her response was "You're a Gemini. You'll get bored". She knows me so well.

I was barely aware of anything else going on around me as I watched the wheel go up and down, over and under, back and forth. Totally hypnotised, I made it go fast... then I slowed it right down until..it...just...started...moving...in...the..other...direction...and then fast again. Faster. And back the other way. And then sl-o-o-o-w...... One of the girls in the office said "Michael was playing with that the other day for the entire time he was here. It drove me crazy" so I put it away in the bag of pilfered items. After about another ten minutes.

It makes a sound all of its own. Somewhere between a knife being sharpened on steel and the electricity running through an overhead cable. Or a couple of magnets running back and forth on a wire frame. The motion of the thing is addictive. Now that I have got it home, I have realised that it is just as much fun to play with whilst watching the TV. I can control the speed and the direction out of the corner of my eye. I cannot see myself getting bored of this thing.

I hope that there is space for my TV in my room when I move in to a shared house, otherwise one of my new housemates is surely going to punch me in the face.

The other new toy that I have is less obtrusive to others. After reading some fabulous testimonials, I bought a program that plays subliminal messages on your computer. It comes with a bunch of scripts containing positive phrases which flash up on your screen. You can select which scripts you want to use, edit them or create your own. Then you leave it running whilst you are working on your PC and your subconscious picks up the messages as you work.

I need to be mindful when sharing my screen with men, although this could be fun. Especially if I am running the "Man Magnet" program...

I spoke to my sister in the early hours of the morning. I told her about my new toys.

"Subliminal messaging?" she hooted "...so how do you know if the program is running...?"