My plan of action is to start by securing a contract to create a couple of trainers' manuals for a motivational personal development company, after which I will qualify as a trainer to teach their courses whilst developing my own material.
This morning, after a lot of deliberation and procrastination (cut short by the disappointing lack of blog fodder on this morning's list), I emailed the service agreement for the trainers' manuals to the MD.
This was not the way it was meant to be. The MD has asked me when I could come in, and I said "Monday". "Great, well come in and let's get this thing moving" Yeah, right. Because turning up at his office even with an appointment has never guaranteed that he would actually be there or that I would receive his undivided attention. And I wasn't about to spend a couple of hours hanging around like a vagrant waiting. Time is money, you know - I have a business to run! So I emailed the contract instead, containing all of the ins and outs of the project, price and payment, terms and conditions. Read this, and let's discuss from there. With my stomach lurching, I clicked send.
The silence is deafening and now my Opponent is hard at work. What if he calls? What if he doesn't? What if he says no? What if he says yes? What if he won't pay me up front? What if I can't create these manuals? Has he read it yet? Do I chase him up or do I let him come to me?
The irony of all of this is that I have decided that first subject to be developed in to workshops and newsletters for my own material is.... Overcoming Fear. Well, let's face it, by the time I get to writing anything, I will have had plenty of experience.
To take my mind off the waiting, I decided to pretend to be all business-like (I am very hard at work, you know) and start researching some material. First stop: YouTube. Oh, isn't this just the best job in the world?
It was a very productive couple of hours, with lots of note taking on different aspects of fear. And what is more, there is nothing better when you are in a nervous state than watching over two hours of video clips which remind you that fear is illusion - nothing but a product of the mind.
Even so, I think I may need to watch a few more if I don't want to be like this tomorrow....